We don't know what to feel anymore

We don't know what to feel anymore. We don't know what is right or wrong anymore. The confused cry of the modern age...

We ask, "What can we believe in?" I don't know sometimes. What should we believe in? Our politicians? Pfft! Hardly. Our priests? It doesn't seem that would be prudent with some of the things you see in the news.

It's not supposed to be that way. But it is.

What then? Our parents? You hear them say... "Home is a sanctuary."

I don't think so. Home is a sanctuary for the for the priviledged few. For most it's a battleground.

lt's not meant to be like that. But it is.

Love? Can we believe in love? Feel safe in it?

Loving someone means we have to relinquish power. We have to compromise. It's mutual surrender. But how can this take place?

Trust.

Trust is as vital to human relationships as breath is to life... and just as elusive.

My beautiful fiancee, one of the two loves of my life inspired me to write this. She is working on three speeches for her college speech class at the moment. What better way to strike ideas then to write, or speak for the matter, the things which you are passionate about.

I wish her the best of luck on her speeches, and sincerely hope that she can find something within herself that sparks her passion.

Some of the words I wrote above spawned from experiences I had with the homes I lived in growing up and the home my fiancee still occupies. What's important is that, with time the tension passes; and as with all relationships the connection you have with your parents and siblings today will be different in the days to come. Its infinately important to maintain the foundation of the relationships that lie underneath that surface that ebbs and flows with what you experience daily. One day, who knows you might just need and love the people you choose to hate and lothe today.

-Derek Alfonso (12:30 AM, Wednesday, March 1st, 2006)