Derek Alfonso's Tech, Science, and Politics Blog

My name is Derek Alfonso, I am a Data Architect by day, the host of a popular radio show called The Power of Information on the America First Radio Network, and I'm an audio engineer and an accomplished producer of music videos and feature films, including Assistant Director, Composer, Steadicam Operation, Editing and Special Effects credits. Enjoy some of my Tech Tips that hopefully empower you to get the most from the technology you live and work with everyday.

Monday, August 15, 2005

The Human Race is Doomed!

Every day as I drive to and fro I am mind-boggled by the stupidity of drivers, especially here in Houston. But the stupidity does not stop and just drivers, but it extends to all facets of the human race. Here is proof that the human race is doomed with its own stupidity, these warning labels from actual consumer goods will bring it into perspective:
  • On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
    (That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
  • On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
    (the shoplifter special?)
  • On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
    (and that would be???....)
  • On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
    (but, it's just a suggestion.)
  • On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
    (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
  • On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
    (...and you thought????...)
  • On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
    (but wouldn't this save me time?)
  • On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
    (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
  • On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
    (...I'm taking this because???....)
  • On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
    (as opposed to what?)
  • On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
    (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
  • On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
    (talk about a news flash)
  • On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
    (Step 3: say what?)
  • On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
    (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
  • On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
    (Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

1 Comments:

  • At September 02, 2005 3:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    OK, I know the hairdryer thing sounds weird, but I used to date this chick whose mom could not sleep unless she had a hairdryer going on full blast. Now for why the have the warning one night while this old bitty is crashed out part of the sheet gets into the heating coil and catches the bed on fire. So there is the peson to blaim for that bit of corprate CYA.

     

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